HIGHS AND LOWS GAME SHOW
One days several weeks ago while sitting at the dinner table Tara looked at Makenzie and asked, "what was your high point today?" Now, I'm going to pause this right here for the disclaimer. I don't know if this was something that was started while I was away or something that came about from something Tara read and just implemented without my approval, but it sounded like something I was going to be uncomfortable with. I'm a pretty closed up kind of guy, I don't really talk about the great things that happened and I don't really talk about what rubs me the wrong way a lot. Tara is going to school to be one of those mind shrink-er people, so I figured this must be one of those secret dirty tricks they use to get you to talk. Disclaimer over.
I sat and listened to Kenzie give a short answer rather quickly and Tara followed up with "Low point?" Kenzie's eyes darted a little and she looked up as if she was concocting some magical story about how someone wronged her that day. I don't remember exactly what her answer was but it was rather short and insignificant. Something like here cheese on her sandwich had melted before she could eat it and so she didn't like it. Oh life is so simple for a 7 year old right....
Tara moved on to Matthew now, same questions. Oh crap, I'm NEXT!!!!!!!!! Hurry and finish eating so I CAN GET OUT OF THIS! Matthew was quick, too quick! I probed him on his answers as a delay tactic. It didn't work at all... Well this is it, here it comes, and then nothing. WHEW! The conversation moved on to other things and I was saved.
Dinner wrapped up and we finished out the routine we have been working on to get everyone in bed without too much issue. It's working pretty good at this point.
The next day I make sure to take a mental note of when something "good" happens or something I could consider a "high point". There weren't very many. In fact driving home I was stressed, I knew I was not going to get out of it tonight, she was going to call on me! Fact was, I did not have a very good day. The plant was running good and it is run by a trusted friend but I did not get much of my stuff done and a problem was brewing with one of our employees. Any "good" points in my day were easily outweighed by my "bad" points. Surely that's how this game works I told myself.
Dinner came and low and behold! I'm second on the list for the "Highs and Lows Game". I started with my low because it came easiest, while not really my true "low" it was a crappy part of my day and it was pretty easy to just blurt it out. My high had been difficult to come up with all day, I had stressed about it, thought about it, tried to manufacture a high point, tried to pull one out of thin air and it just wasn't there. As I pulled up to the house, my eyes and heart opened to the moment. No matter how much I was not looking forward to the "Highs and Lows Game Show, Live at the Niemi Household", no matter what awaited behind that closed door be it screaming kids or an angry momma bear, this was my high point. I shortened my answer for the Live version of the game show because I found myself really wanting to hear the kids' answers to this jedi mind trick of a question my future mind shrinking wife came up with.
The kids' answers are still short sometimes now but are getting longer as they get used to the idea of this elaborate mind trickery game. Kenzie has also taken on the role of game show host, usually starting off with asking Matthew almost before the n in amen is finished being spoken from our prayer. For some reason this is the one thing Kenzie can say or ask directly to Matthew without Sibling War 14,897 breaking out. Yes I'm counting.
Tonight Kenzie even asked William to participate. He must feel the same way I do about this game because he had absolutely NOTHING say on the matter.
This whole mind shrinking exercise that is the "Highs and Lows Game, Live in front of a Studio Audience, From the Niemi House Hold in Ewa Beach, HAWAII!!!" (That's right, its a full production now) has helped me realize a few things.
I can not let my good points in the day (also know as "high" points) be out weighed by any bad points (AKA as "low"points) and that every good point is something that should be cherished. If anything good points should receive EXTRA points based on the fact that they are good and not bad and that's good, so we give them extra points.
Also, I should not be afraid, or scared or closed to my children or wife when talking about my lows and highs throughout the day, and the more I elaborate on those highs and lows and the reasons they are highs and lows to me the more they will understand me, how I work and the things that make me tick.
The more I say, the more they say and the better Tara and I can understand the things that they are dealing with on a daily basis and what we need to do as parents to help them not let the lows out weigh the highs in any circumstance.
If we could all put the extra good point to the good points policy to practice and never let your bad points add up to or even come close to your good point level (If close use what Tara likes to call "James Math" and just multiply your good points time two or three just to make sure they are firmly ahead. Note: my Cousin calls this Matt Math in honor of her SO) then wouldn't we just be happier people in general? Yeah crap happens at work, at home, and everywhere else! Its going to happen and IF we let THOSE moments DEFINE who WE are then we are truly lost...
Feel free to comment or discuss - there is more to come on this in the days ahead. James
Feel free to comment or discuss - there is more to come on this in the days ahead. James
