Two weeks can be very long when you are waiting for something. Two weeks goes by so quickly once it comes though. Papa Bear is headed back to Alaska right now, and I am back home with the crazy bears. With him being gone so much this year, I have learned some new things about relationships, or at least about mine, and thought I would share.
The most important thing I have learned over the last couple of years is His love language, and how to speak it, not just to understand it. If your SO has the language of touch, that doesn't mean just to let them touch you! As a person that does not like personal contact much, this was a difficult challenge for me, but I believe after this last visit that I have gotten fairly fluent in this language. Communicating in the language of touch simply means to reach out and actually touch the other person. It can be as simple as hand holding or a back scratch. One of my past complaints was of feeling smothered by my So, but by learning His language and speaking it to him I have come to enjoy His presence in my personal bubble It also has made it to where he does not have to always be so "touchy" which is helps keep me from feeling smothered.
Number two; let your man lead, but don't force him. Let your husband lead your family. This is a role he was designed by God to fill. I understand that the world has molded some (most) men into men that don't know how to lead, or are so noncommittal that they will only lead in circles before they stall out. If this is the case for you ladies, don't get pushy!!! That completely undermines the role he has to take in life. If it is vacation time and you are searching for places to go or do, ask him what he would like. Ask him what he likes for dinner. Ask him what he would like to watch on T.V. The little decisions might make him feel more like the leading man in life, without the pressure they feel from making more important decisions. That being said, don't expect any man to have an opinion about Everything in life, or even one opinion a day. If you want their opinion on what to do for a holiday, and they don't have one, then make a plan. I did this on the 4th. My SO was very loose about who he wanted to see or what he wanted to do for the day. He didn't want a lot of fuss, but wanted to have fun and see some people. I finally said how about this... It was a mash up of activities without being overbearing. We had an amazing day without a fight about why he couldn't make up his mind, or why I had to be such a control freak. We had fun, we got stuff done, we were a happy family.
Thirdly; appreciate your man for what he is. Period. End of Sentence. Many women bring up the past too often, or talk about how much better it will be in the future. Take a minute to reflect on the awesomeness of the man God has put into your life. My SO is a hard worker, a wonderful provider.... so many things. I appreciate that. I appreciate that he makes sacrifices for our family without complaint, and almost always without a big flashy reward. I don't tell him often enough how much I appreciate him, but I have learned to tone down criticisms and comparisons.
Laugh and smile. Forever is a long time, you may as well have fun with your partner. Don't be afraid to be silly or carefree in front of him. One of my favorite things in life, easily a top five on the indulgence list, is to make my SO smile. There are days that I have to get Jim Carey styled funny to accomplish this, but man is it worth it. I love being silly with him, I even believe that the moments I have spent just having fun with my SO has made my love for him stronger.
Lastly; I know I am wrong. I know there is no psychological background for this bumble of words I have typed out, I know that much of it isn't biblical. Coming off of two weeks with the man of my life, and uncertain of the date when I will see him next, I can see the things that are most important. It doesn't matter to him that the house wasn't clean, or that my hair style isn't trendy. We have learned the things that are important to each other, and we actively engage in those ways every chance we can. What is important to your SO? Are you making a habit of engaging in those important things, seeing him and hearing him in the way he is broadcasting to you?
Marriage is forever people. I understand there are marriages that have failed. I am not talking about those relationships. I am speaking about the one you are in right now. The vows that you spoke still have meaning. Forever. Till death do we part. The words are heavy for a meaning. No more romanticizing about life after divorce as Hollywood loves to do. Romanticize bout Real life! I apologize for the rambling. I know this was all very scattered, but it came from my heart. I am not even going to re-write it. This is how I would talk to my best friend, and his is how I am sharing this with the world.
I pray you all had a wonderful week, and look forward to blog babbling again soon.
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